justjasper:

you’re either a spiceps person or a spicerack person

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Anonymous said: What's the most illegal thing you ever did?

sephyerite:

almanzapedia:

At Stanford there was this Professor who was a total bitch and she taught British Literature, which was cool. Except she taught only her opinions of the books and it didn’t help me as a writer. I went to school to learn new things to improve my craft, not have someone else’s opinions carved onto my forehead.

So anyway, for our final project, she asked us to write a ten page paper on why the color symbolism in Othello was so significant. I did some research and it turned out that she did her entire graduate thesis on this very subject. I was mad. This wasn’t teaching, this was boosting her ego. SO I wrote a ten page essay on why color symbolism in Othello wasn’t significant, satirizing it to the point of no return, saying that her opinion was an opinion and shouldn’t be taken seriously.

SHe failed me, needless to say. So in retaliation, I responded by baking a batch of brownies laced with weed and laxatives and delivered them myself to the professor hours before her big graduation speech. I told her that it was a peace offering, my way of apologizing and asking if I could do anything to fix my grade.

She refused to fix my grade.

In the end, she shit herself on stage.

I didn’t regret it.

No mercy.

politicsprose:

How Long Does It Take to Read Popular Books?

Going by the average reading rate of most adults (300 words per minute), Personal Creations mocked up this infographic to put some of literature’s most popular works into perspective.

Via Electric Lit.

gifyourass:

How the world sees America.

janefoster:

basically my life can be summed up in alternating periods of Linda Belcher’s “Alriiiiight!” and Bob Belcher’s “Oh my god”

pudgychan:

christinajoanne:

Once Upon A December. Anastasia in Russian.  This would be the language that she would have sung in.

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awkwardnarturtle:

i-mahu:

There’s two types of anger one is dry and the other wet and basically wet anger is when your eyes water and your voice shakes and I hate that cause I feel weak when I’m crying while angry I like dry anger when your face is like stone and your voice is sharp I guess wet anger shows that you care too much and dry anger means you’re done.

This is the best description ever

Stop shopping at Urban Outfitters.

overtheunderpass:

honeybeeprofessor:

DOnt shop at urban outfitters 

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they literally sold a blood-stained-looking sweatshirt with the name of a college that there was a school shooting at 

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they sold prescription-drug related accessories trying to make it cute

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they sold a board game entitled “gettopoly” i should not have to explain why this is bad

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they sold a super cissexist card with the T slur on it 

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they literally sold this shirt

PLEASE STOP SHOPPING AT URBAN OUTFITTERS

WOW, Ew

punksenpai:

Read More

3 days ago with 3 notes / via
Reblog

mathsturbation:

graduated cylinder

ellendegeneres:

Emily Blunt tells us just how cute her new baby is.

sororitysugar:

sweet on panda M&Ms 

3 days ago with 36 notes / via / source
Reblog

knightscrest:

mcporno:

knightscrest:

knightscrest:

whats the sleepiest mineral?

snORE

Ores and minerals are completely different things

dammit jim, im a comedian not a geologist

HW